Assuming we aren’t all perfect human beings all of the time..When you become frustrated do you notice your behavior changing? Or is it once the situation has been resolved and you’ve cooled down that you finally notice the effects of your behaviors?
It was a normal day in the neighborhood, I was washing dishes (a chore I dread doing, YAY adulting!). My four year old daughter comes up to me insisting the task would be much better if she could give me a hand. She always stacks the dishes once I’ve washed and rinsed them, but this time she INSISTED on doing things differently.
She would be the one doing the washing. Whatever, I let her do her thing because in the long run, I want her to learn responsibilities by helping with basic household chores. This girl…. spent what felt like five long minutes scrubbing a spoon. Now normally this wouldn’t be an issue, but I knew we would run out of hot water long before dishes were done at this rate.
What did I do? How badly did I over react? Well, I just turned off the water and told her to go play with her brother or watch cartoons, we were done with dishes for now. She looks up at her dad and says “That was irrational.” I couldn’t believe it, I was shocked. She was right, and that little 38 pound 3 foot tall human put me in my place. So instantly I gave her a huge smile and said “thank you for letting me know I wasn’t being my best self.” She responds with “It’s okay, I still love you..but I think you need somebody to breathe with you.”
Deep breathing exercises are something we do to help her when she’s overwhelmed by the moment. We take 10 deep breaths, counting after each breath. Once we get to 10, she’s calm and collected again. Then we can discuss the situation if she chooses too. I was so incredibly proud of her, for remembering what methods help her cool down and for wanting to help me regain my cool.
We all lose it from time to time. It’s okay to not be rainbows and butterflies 100% of the time. Find your outlet to let go of frustrations, trial out different methods. Count to 10 or eat 10 scoops of ice cream. Whatever you gotta do, do it.
Parenting With Patience 